Monday Miscellany: Maybe this time it works out
Notes from March 9 - 15
Hello from (hopefully) the other side of a huge line of severe weather that’s been working its way across the country for the past few days! My day started with high winds and high anxiety, but the worst seems to be past now, with no damage from fallen limbs and power blessedly still on. If you were in the path of this giant storm too, I hope you made it through okay.
Read this week
I had missed the fact that Nedra Glover Tawwab put a new book out, but when I saw a slightly damaged copy on the shelf of prizes at book trivia last month, I snatched it right up. This one’s called The Balancing Act and it’s about how we connect with the people in our lives, be they friends, family members, romantic partners, or acquaintances. There are chapters about different types of dependency, enmeshed relationships, how past trauma can affect our present-day attachment styles, surface connections versus deep ones, balancing independence with dependence, and more.
My favorite section is focused on the importance of vulnerability and asking for support; I’m not always the best in those areas, but as with her other books, Tawwab provides lots of ideas and specific examples to make real-life application of the information easy and straightforward. I wouldn’t call anything here groundbreaking, but there are many good reminders and tidbits, laid out simply and intuitively, and I know this book will be a useful reference to return to in the future when I need a refresher. If you ever find yourself overthinking your interactions, questioning certain relationships, or worrying that you’re too dependent (or too detached), it might also be just what you need.
It’s Toni Morrison month in The Stacks book club and this year we’re reading Paradise, the story of an all-Black town in Oklahoma, a small nearby community of outcast women, and the ways the two interact, both amongst themselves and with each other, the situation eventually building to a violent conclusion. From this complete banger of an opening sentence, the ending scene is set:
They shoot the white girl first. With the rest they can take their time.
We then jump back in time and Morrison gradually shows us how things got to this point. Because I checked out a digital copy from the library, I didn’t realize how long it was until I was a good ways in—but I ended up taking it slowly, over the course of the whole week, really getting familiar with the world she has created in these pages. There are lots of characters and seemingly infinite relationships between them: siblings, married couples, friends, cousins, newcomers, family. If I ever read this one again, I will do so with a pen in my hand so I can draw a sprawling tree of these connections and maybe have a chance of keeping them all straight in my head. As it was, I did sometimes end up just letting sections of prose wash over me when I couldn’t quite remember who a character was or how they tied into what was going on; it would usually come back within a page or two and I’d be able to reorient myself once again in the complex web of the Ruby and Convent communities.
This is definitely one of the more challenging Morrison novels that I’ve read so far, but it’s rich and rewarding, too. I’m looking forward to listening to the Stacks discussion episode later this month and hopefully filling in some gaps in my personal understanding of it.
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Currently listening
As predicted last time, I spent some time with Francis of Delirium’s new single, “It’s a Beautiful Life,” this week. Musically it’s a little faster paced than a lot of her other songs, with an almost frenetic, unhinged vibe to it. And lyrically that makes sense, because it’s about the crazy-making parts of existence and our reactions to them, the way extreme heat and doomscrolling take us out of ourselves, the feeling of wanting to run away from everything or cut off all your hair. And yet, and yet. We keep going.
All alone stuck in my room Scrolling through hell, inhaling doom Oh, loneliness is rife It’s a beautiful life
In other upcoming album and new single news: we finally have a widely available recording of “Heavenly Father” by Bon Iver!!! This is one of my FAVORITE things Justin Vernon has ever done, but I believe it was originally created for the film Wish I Was Here (2014) and never released outside of that soundtrack, which has been frustratingly hard to find on streaming platforms.1 So that’s why this is so exciting—an incredible live version is the first single off of Volumes: One, a compilation of selections from Bon Iver’s shows between 2019 and 2023 that’ll be out early next month. And friends, it is good! My “undefeated in making me cry” playlist heartily welcomes the new addition.
I just been up here for goddamn years (can you see now?) filling up hulls with goddamn fears (I am free now) I know about it darling, I been standing here Heavenly father is all that he offers a safety in the end?
And finally, a moment of serendipity at the used bookstore yesterday afternoon:
My eyes drifted over to the new arrivals in the vinyl section, landing on an album cover that looked instantly familiar. When I approached and picked it up for inspection, I think I audibly gasped—it was Metric’s Art of Doubt (2018), an album of theirs that I’m less familiar with and didn’t yet own in physical form. Since we’re seeing them live this summer,2 what a perfect time to add it to my collection and get to know it better! I listened immediately when I got home and recognized some of the tracks (“Dark Saturday,” “Now or Never Now”), but also found some new-to-me favorites (“Underline the Black,” “Risk”). This will definitely be on heavy rotation as the concert gets closer.
Haiku round-up
This poetic form, containing seventeen syllables in a five-seven-five pattern, originated in Japan and traditionally includes thematic reference to the seasons. Mine vary in topic, but I’ve been writing one each day since the beginning of 2024 as an exercise in structured creativity. Here are this week’s poems:
Monday, March 9
Measure a morning in accumulating ash, in vanilla smoke
Tuesday, March 10
Left alone to sit illuminated aslant in day’s final glow
Wednesday, March 11
Eyes might’ve slid past this imperfection in bark, but look closer: frog!
Thursday, March 12
Rise up from the grave of foregone conclusions and claim your agency
Friday, March 13
Why not take a chance? Maybe this time it works out, the exact right thing
Saturday, March 14
Bleary-eyed, giddy, the path awash in high-beams On my way to you
Sunday, March 15
Jagged white outline on background of solid black has me in its thrall
Until next time
When Jordan got home on Saturday night from a week or so of travel, one of the first things he said was “the daffodils are blooming!” And yes, I didn’t realize it had happened so suddenly, but spring seems to have arrived3 here in North Carolina. The forsythia bushes are covered in the most perfect yellow, the crocuses have popped up, and there is new growth on our hydrangea. There are still cold days here and there (and stormy ones, like today),4 but for the most part I just want to be out on the front porch, all the time. This is the delicious window between the cold and depression of winter and the existential dread-inducing heat of summer, when it’s just warm enough to be pleasant, all the plants are coming alive, and the mosquitos haven’t yet gotten the memo that it’s time to once again ruin my life on the daily. Gotta take advantage while I can.
See you next Monday, and until then, ockooo!
♥︎ Emily
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Incidentally I did find it earlier today on YouTube Music and according to Reddit it’s also on Amazon Music. But still.
With Broken Social Scene and Stars! I don’t have words for my excitement.
For real this time.
The harsh blast of a tornado warning is simply not the way I wish to begin my week, thank you.